The wonders of Westmeath 
Malcolm
Rogers wends his way westwards to sample the seven wonders of Westmeath.
“For as much as the shire of Meath is great and large and the west part thereof is beset by with divers of the king’s enemies and his writs have not been obeyed, in consideration thereof it is thought meet that the said shire should be divided.”
Thus it was that Henry VIII divided up the middle part of Ireland, and so, thanks to the English king, Joe Dolan was born in Westmeath and not in the neighbouring county.
Mind you, Joe Dolan isn’t the only famous thing about the county. Here, in this ancient land, is the likely site for the world’s first ever Halloween, way back when it was about the undead walking the earth and not trick or treats.
And if that isn’t enough for you, it’s also the birthplace of Goldsmith — although that’s an honour sometimes claimed by Longford. At any rate, Goldsmith got most of his inspiration from his youthful days spent in Westmeath.
Still not enough excitement for one day? OK, this is also the home of St. Michael. I refer to the man who has done more for underdeveloped parts of the EU than decades of development grants could ever have done — Michael O’Leary. Castle Budget-Airline, should you plan a visit, is located near Mullingar, the county capital.
The other famous thing about Westmeath is that it boasts the exact geographical centre of Ireland. If you’ve already visited the various other topographical bull’s eyes of Ireland, including Birr in Offaly, plus a few optimistic claimants in Co. Longford, then you should check out all three of Westmeath’s exact geographical centres of the Emerald Isle.
One, Hodson’s Pillar, is located on an island in Lough Ree, another is marked by a hill-tower near Glassan, and perhaps the one with the greatest claim, the Cat Stone, is to be found near Mullingar.
The latter, a.k.a the Hill of Uisneach, aside from its geographical significance is a VIP (Very Important Neck-of-the-Woods). Traditionally known as Ail na Míreann, the Stone of Divisions, this point on the map once marked the convergence of Ireland’s five ancient provinces — Ulster, Leinster, Connacht, Munster and Meath.
The Hill is easy enough to find, although not sign-posted in any extravagant fashion. All 600 feet of it lie about 10 miles to the west of Mullingar, just beyond the village of Loughanavallay. Although modest in height, Uisneach stands out, reminiscent of the famous cattle ramp bought by a prairie farmer in Saskatchewan. On the plains of Canada, when the ramp was raised, it became the highest vantage point in the province, visible for hundreds of miles. As Oliver Goldsmith so succinctly put it (although not referring to something other than the Canadian cattle ramp): “These little things are great to little man.”
Similarly, the Hill of Uisneach stands in the middle of Ireland’s prairies, or the central bog as it’s sometimes called. Accordingly, from the top, roughly two thirds of Ireland is visible. Once you’ve marvelled at the monolithic structure at the summit known locally as the Cat Stone — and indeed it does resemble a cat ready to pounce — a panoramic view over the very heart of Ireland is available.
Westmeath’s soft green farmscape gives way to Lough Ree and counties Roscommon and Galway to the west, while to the north lie the endless drumlins leading to Cavan. Try to go on a clear morning when the butter-gold sun lights up the long line of eskers bounding the southern part of the county.
A board helpfully erected by the local council proclaims the importance of the hill —Seat of the High Kings, site of the Druidic Fire Cult, centre of Ancient Ireland, site of the Bealtaine Festival. There are historians who argue that here is the very source of Halloween, the place where the first festival began, and the source of all other Bealtaine bonfires round Ireland.
The excitement engendered by the hill’s ancient history is related to any tangible evidence on the ground. Today this is a beautifully tranquil, little-visited part of Ireland, its tumultuous past long forgotten. Except, of course, in legend, the most compelling of which involves a gentleman called Tuirill Picreo. This Celtic figure fell ill as punishment for some ancient misdemeanour and was administered a local potion called ‘deoch scethrig’, or ‘vomiting drink’. The cure-all did its eponymous duty, and Tuirill duly boked up, the liquid magically becoming Lough Owel, Lough Ennell and Lough Iron.
One wonders why there is no folk song, nor even country n’ Irish ballad, detailing this moving episode in Irish history.
Time for a detour to visit the site of more famous people. Moate is the hometown of the Allen brothers (of Foster & Allen and TR Dallas fame), as well as the home of one of Ireland’s greatest country singers Ray Lynam. Moate (from the Irish An Móta, the mound) is also the home of Temple Country House and Spa, one of the most famous spas in Ireland. Now I know it’s far from where we were rared, but on offer is yoga and massage, body wraps, pedicures etc.
The 250-year-old Irish mansion is built on the site of an ancient monastery, set among 100 acres of trees and pasture. Decorated in a luxurious country house style, Temple Spa offers both pampering and therapeutic spa treatments, such as the Yon-Ka Le Grand Classique spa facial, which is apparently one of the most complete facial care treatments available.
Walking, including a “walking workout”, plus yoga are on offer to complement the spa treatments, and an important part of the Temple’s programme is “doing nothing”. Which sounds good to me.
To experience one of Westmeath’s other attractions you have to journey north east from the centre of Ireland past Mullingar, even past the beautiful Lough Derravaragh — where the Children of Lir lived for hundreds of years — past Lough Owel, Lough Prin (old Tuirill Picreo must have been sick over half the county), past the villages of Crazy Corner and Pass-if-you-Can, and finally on to the Meath border. Here you’ll pick up the Fore Trail — ideal for cycling, hiking or even motoring.
Remember “motoring”? When people used to drive for fun? Well, it’s still possible in this quiet rural retreat. You can turn off the car’s heater, put a tartan rug round your legs and be transported back to the 1920s or ‘30s. An air of yesterday pervades the area — not much speculative building, and the shops fronts in the small towns of Castlepollard or Ballinalack are all gloss paint and family names, the multinational logos of New Europe entirely absent.
But nostalgic motoring won’t be the only thing on your mind. Because the Fore Trail is designed round the Seven Wonders of Fore, which are world famous throughout most parts of Westmeath.
The Wonders in question, mostly occasioned by St. Feichin, are: the Monastery in the Quaking Sod, the Mill Without a Race, The Water which Flows Uphill, the Wood that Won’t Burn, the Water that Won’t Boil, the Anchorite in the Stone, and the Stone Raised by St. Feichin. OK, not exactly the Hanging Gardens of Babylon, but let me tell you — it’s a grand day out.
There is, of course, a lot of room for interpretation in the Wonders. The river flowing out of Lough Lene at the head of the valley does indeed look as if it’s running upwards. So Feichin, well done there. The monastery, built by St. Feichin in the seventh century on bogland still stands, although it looks suspiciously like a church built some thousand years later. However, the water in St. Feichin’s Well indeed appears not to be boiling, and in the absence of any other research we can assume this is a Wonder. In a word —wonderful.
Westmeath is an enchanting, often overlooked county. You won’t find many “Weekend Breaks in Westmeath” at your local travel agent, but none the worse for that. There are plenty of places to stay, loads of pubs to loiter in, and above all, a countryside that is the rival of the Haute Gironne or the Tuscan uplands. With the added attraction of interesting Feichin sites all over the place.
As Oliver Goldsmith said (come on now, we have to finish with him):
“Such is the patriot’s boast, where’er we roam, His first, best country ever
is at home.”
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