Dublin for lovers
 MALCOLM ROGERS devises the perfect romantic day in Dublin.
They say that you only see a city three times — when you arrive, when you leave, and when you fall in love. Accordingly, if you really want to see Dublin properly, you should go with your significant other on St Valentine’s Day. You will be aware that the remains of St. Valentine reside in the city, making it the inevitable choice for February 14. Your other questions are answered below by our panel of romantic experts.
So where would I visit the grave of St Valentine?
Well, it’s not actually a grave. The saint’s remains reside in the Carmelite at Whitefriar Street Church on Aungier Street. You can visit daily, pay your respects and light a candle.
But how on earth did St Valentine’s remains happen to arrive in Ireland?
Long story, but basically Pope Gregory XVI made a present of them to an Irish prior, Father John Spratt, in 1836. But don’t expect a little Valentine’s message attached to the bones saying ‘Roses are red, violets are blue, here’s the bones, specially for you. From honeybunch Greg to
Sprattypoopoos’.
Well, is it true he’s patron saint of the greetings card industry?
Not so, I’m afraid. However, it is probable that Valentine cards were the very first greetings cards.
Well after that grade A information, any romantic walks you could recommend?
Well, you couldn’t do better than head over O’Connell Bridge, along Westmoreland Street towards the Bank of Ireland, past Trinity College and up Grafton Street. A stop at Bewley’s is almost de rigeur — but for a cosy cuddle along with your coffee make sure you go up a couple of floors to where they have the comfy sofas.
OK, after the sticky buns, where to then?
Probably a stroll round St Stephen’s Green. At this point you could unveil your party piece. You will have learnt the words of William Butler Yeats — himself a Dublin-born gentleman — the impossibly romantic “Had I the heavens’ embroidered cloths / Of gold and light and the half light. / I would spread the cloths under your feet. / Tread softly, because you tread on my dreams.”
Any poetry I should steer clear of?
Probably the words of our old friend Anon: “Love is like a pineapple
Sweet and indefinable.”
Hmm, I see what you mean, that’s not terribly good. But Dublin being renowned as a literary city — there must be loads of romantic lines you can help me out with. . .
Well, don’t forget that the writer of one of the most famous lines ever relating to romance — William Congreve — was educated at Trinity College. “Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned,” wrote the man who was born in England but brought up in Kilkenny. The second part of the couplet is, of course, the ominous, “Nor hell a fury like a woman
scorned.
So, to avoid any possible Congreve-type repercussions, any idea where we fetch up for a romantic stay?
The Morrison, Ormond Quay (00 353 1 887 2400) is unlikely to disappoint. Thanks to John Rocha’s decor, it’s the most touchy-feely hotel in town, all leather and suede and velvet and silk. If you can run to it, the sexy Penthouse has a sunken bath, walk-in sauna, Rocha candles and great views over the Liffey. You can order caviar or oysters in the bedroom, or modern Irish downstairs in the restaurant.
OK, what’s the damage?
Penthouse is £1,015 per night; regular rooms around the £110 mark.
Well, just supposing your loved one is still feeling huffy over some imagined slight —maybe you mentioned an ex —anything you could suggest to buck her spirits up.
Just say: “Don’t frown, sweetheart, because you never know who’ll fall in love with your smile.”
Don’t say: “Old lovers are like old wars — their ghosts hang around long after the guns fall silent.” And if you really want to make amends for any romantic faux pas, Mount Argus church in Harold Cross, has a service on St. Valentine’s Day at 7.30 pm called simply Mass for Loving Couples.
Very spiritual. But what about something a bit more earthy?
If you really want to enjoy the hedonistic life, book the two of you into the Clarence (Proprietors: Bono and The Edge). The hotel claims to be ‘friendly, innovative and youthful’ boasts a wide price range —the penthouse suite will set you back around a grand — but for that you get exclusive use of the hot tub out on the balcony, with views across the Liffey. If that’s a bit pricey you can get more modest rooms from around £200. And you don’t have to talk to Bono if you don’t want. Telephone: 00 353 1 670 9000
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