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Christmas capers
Bored with just visiting the relatives when you go home? Malcolm Rogers has come up with some seasonal suggestions which might make your Christmas trip back across the water just a little more rewarding.
Visit the grave of Santa Claus
A persistent legend exists that Ireland guards the remains of Santa Claus.
According to this legend, the earthly remains of Father Christmas can be found in the ruined church of an abandoned medieval town just west of Jerpoint Abbey (Cnoc Sheireapúin), located about a mile south-west of Thomastown.
All that is left of the village of Newtown Jerpoint is the Church of St Nicholas, which lies on a farm to the west of the abbey. The church was dedicated in 1170 AD, but the tombstone appears to be more of a 14th century design.
The grave shows the effigy of a cleric — probably a bishop — overlooked by two stone heads. Locally, the effigy is reputed to be that of St Nicholas, Bishop of Myra (aka Santa Claus), with the heads depicting the two crusaders who brought the remains of the Bishop back to Ireland.
No-one is quite sure when the legend arose, but the, ahem, bones of the story are that a band of Irish-Norman knights from the locality of Jerpoint journeyed to the Holy Lands during the Crusades. After much derring-do against the infidels, they seized the remains of the much revered St Nicholas, former Bishop of Myra (in what is now Turkey), and brought them back home to Kilkenny.
It would be fair to point out — seeing as it’s coming up to Christmas — that most other historical sources claim that the bones of St Nicholas in fact went to Bari, in Italy, taken by Italian sailors or merchants. However, anything to do with St. Nicholas is shrouded in mystery — his very existence is not even attested or confirmed by any historical document.
But there are some facts which support the Irish version of events. Kilkenny was one of the first areas of Ireland to be settled by the Normans, who were avid relic collectors — arguably more so than the Italians who had plenty of icons of their own. And there is hard factual evidence that Irish-based Norman knights ventured to the Middle East during the series of military expeditions known as the Crusades.
As Bill Watkins, the English-born American Irish poet puts it:
“Where lie the bones of Santa Claus
To what holy spot each pilgrim draws
Which crypt conceals his pious remains
Safe from the wild wind, snows and rains.
It’s not in Rome his body lies
Or under Egypt’s azure skies
Constantinople or Madrid
His reliquary and bones are hid.
That saint protector of the child
Whose relics pure lie undefiled
His casket safe within it’s shrine
Where the shamrocks grow and rose entwine.
Devout wayfarer, cease your search
For in Kilkenny’s ancient church
Saint Nicholas’ sepulchre is found
Enshrined in Ireland’s holy ground.
So traveller rest and pray a while
To the patron saint of orphaned child
Whose bones were brought to Ireland’s shore
Safe from the Vandal, Hun and Moor.
Here lie the bones of Santa Claus
Secure beneath these marble floors
So gentle pilgrim, here the call
And may Saint Nicholas bless you all.”
Pay your respects at Ireland’s ecclesiastic centre
Today Armagh is probably the only city in the world with two cathedrals of the same name but of different religions.
Both St Patrick’s are well worth a visit. The Catholic Cathedral is a few minutes walk north-west of the centre, situated on a hillrise overlooking the city.
It is, according to notes in the guidebook ‘a Gothic revival church’ (like many across Ireland), but it is nevertheless impressive in its proportions. And as befits the seat of the Primate of All Ireland, the place is generously and richly decorated — a far cry from when work had to be stopped in the mid 19th century because of the famine.
In the grounds are the graves of the former Primates of All Ireland — Cardinal Ó Fiaich, Cardinal Conway et al.
And here’s a fascinating fact. Armagh is often called the ‘Irish Rome’ — but the title almost literally came true. In 1948, the Irish ambassador to the Vatican reported that Pope Pius XII was ‘in a mood of deepest pessimism’ about the very real possibility of a Communist government coming to power in Italy, and wanted to move the Holy See, lock, stock and apparel to Ireland.
He is reported to have said, “Ireland is the only country I could go to — only there would I have the atmosphere and the sense of security to rule the Church as Christ wants me.”
In the event, the communist threat abated and the Vatican remained the Eternal City instead of Armagh. One of the compelling ‘What ifs’ of history.
As is the norm in Ireland the Church of Ireland Cathedral has the prime position in the city. Situated atop the main hill, it dominates the city. There have been a string of buildings on the site and remnants dating back to the 11th century can still clearly be seen.
Another fascinating fact: James Ussher, Church of Ireland Archbishop of Armagh (1625), worked out that the world was created on October 23, 4004 BC, a date many cults still believe to be correct. The fact that pagan Armagh was already going strong by then seems to have passed him by.
Archbishop Ussher also predicted that the world would end on November 4, 1996 although as you will have noticed, this has proved to be somewhat inaccurate, denting the man from Armagh’s reputation. Despite this dodgy prediction, his teachings are still revered by some.
(Special note: Bishop Ussher was not responsible for conjuring up the term Armaghgeddon.)
Go climbing in the Cooleys
Climb to the top of Medbh’s Gap in the Cooleys. It’s about 1300ft, so a fairly easy uphill tramp of about an hour should get you there. And you’ll be rewarded by one of the finest views in Ireland — across Carlingford Lough to the Mournes in the North, and south as far as the Great Sugar Loaf in Wicklow.
E n route you’ll meet wild goats, probably surprise a few jack-snipe, and at this time of the year maybe a few snow buntings — tiny little black and white birds which bob round on the ground. And, of course, you can’t go far in Ireland without meeting that icon of Christmas, the robin.
An added bonus of the Cooleys is that you might even get snow — there’s already been one fall this year, so if a White Christmas is high up on your list of priorities, this could be the place.
To get to the walk couldn’t be simpler. Leave the car in the park overlooking Carlingford harbour, and follow the road towards the Square. Walk past Savage’s butcher’s and you’re on to the road which will lead you directly up the mountain.
Absolutely free — which compares very favourably with the $50,000 currently being asked before to scale Mount Everest.
Sample some real Christmas trees
For years Tollymore Forest Park, near Bryansford, Co. Down, has supplied Belfast City Hall with its Christmas tree, usually a Norway Spruce, but sometimes a Noble fir.
But to see a proper array of Christmas trees you need to visit the forest itself. Here you’ll see the full gambit of Christmas trees — Douglas fir, Sitka spruce, Scots pine — plus any number of exotic specimens in the arboretum, ranging from Himalayan dwarf spruce to Monterey pine.
The walk through the forest, along the banks of the Shimna and Spinkwee rivers, is truly enchanting, and just the place to head for on St Stephen’s Day to walk off those excess calories.
Drinking in Belfast
For the closest you can get to a Dickensian Christmas, visit the Crown in Great Victoria Street, Belfast, without doubt one of the great bars of the world.
Originally owned by one Felix O’Hanlon, he sold it to Michael Flanagan, whose son Patrick was responsible for brightening up the family bar — and thus turning it into a gem of Victorian splendour.
Today it is still a vital part of Belfast’s everyday life. No theme bar this — the only theme is drinking. Sit back and enjoy a pint of Guinness in one of the snugs, which bear a passing resemblance to confessional boxes — but don’t let that put you off.
Instead marvel at the ornamental woodwork and intricate glasswork — if you’re lucky the sun will be streaming through the stained glass windows, once again giving the impression of being in church. No wonder it’s packed of a Sunday morning.
The Crown Liquor Saloon, 46 Great Victoria Street, Belfast. Telephone: 02890 249476.
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