Irish Pubs and Bars worldwide in our Irish Pub Directory - New York, London, Sydney, Boston, Dublin, San Francisco, Toronto. You can also find songs, drinking games, quotes, toasts & more!

A string walks into a pub and orders a drink.
"Sorry, we don't serve strings," says the barman. "What? That’s discrimination," says the string.
So the string walks into the bathroom and ties himself in a knot and messes up his end. He comes back out and approaches the bar and again attempts to order a drink.
"Aren't you that string I just refused to serve?" asks the barman.
"No. I'm a frayed knot."

A Foot walks (or hops) into a bar and asks the barman for a pint. The barman refuses to serve him. 'Why' asks the foot. 'You're legless' replies the barman.

A Number 12 walks into a bar and asks the barman for a pint. 'Sorry I can't serve you' states the barman. 'Why not' asks the number 12. 'You're under 18' replies the barman.

A urine sample walks into a bar and asks the barman for a pint. The barman refuses to serve it. The urine sample asks why to which the barman replies 'You're pissed'.

A brain walks into a bar and asks the barman for a pint. Upon being refused he asks why. 'You're out of your head' replies the barman

A golf club walks into a bar and asks the barman for a pint. The barman refuses to serve him. 'Why not' asks the golf club. 'You'll be driving later' replies the barman